It’s common knowledge that almost half of marriages in America end in divorce. So, if you feel your relationship is reaching that downward spiral, you’re not alone.
How do you proceed once you realize that you don’t feel that same spark with your partner anymore?
It might be wise to start with a trial marriage separation before you do anything too hasty. That will allow you to get some space from your partner to think about your relationship.
If you see that you’re happier without your spouse, you can start filing the paperwork during your time away. Check out this guide to learn more.
Trial Separation
You can enter a trial separation period if you’re unsure if you want to get an annulment here. You and your spouse will still be married but live in separate spaces for a while.
It will allow you to spend time away from your partner to think about your relationship. You’ll be able to decide if divorce is the way to go without going straight into filing paperwork.
At this stage in the marriage separation process, no legal action is required of you. You might want to put some ground rules in place, but we’ll get into that a little later.
Permanent Separation
If you realize that you enjoy your time away from your spouse and you don’t intend to get back together with them, you can move on to the permanent separation stage.
At this point, you’ll no longer have to share the things that you once shared as a couple. For example, let’s say that you get a bonus at work. Your partner won’t have a right to a single penny of that money.
For court reasons, you’ll need to record the exact date that you and your spouse decided on permanent separation. This means living apart with no more intimacy.
If you decide to have a night together for the sake of it, you’ll have to alter your separation date.
Legal Separation
Simply saying that you’re no longer with your spouse doesn’t count as a legal separation. You’ll have to go through the court system to make it official.
You’ll get a lawyer to negotiate child custody rights, alimony, and dividing assets.
Setting Your Ground Rules
No matter what stage you’re at in your divorce, you’ll need to set a few ground rules. Here are some things that you’ll have to discuss with your ex. Spouse.
Living Separately
In most cases, you’ll be required to live away from your partner during every part of the separation process. You can’t just pack your things and move out, however.
You’ll need to discuss the financial implications of it. You may also want to set up times to visit each other. It will make the entire transition a bit easier.
Seeing each other occasionally might be helpful while you’re still in the trial stage. You will need to set boundaries. It’s not a separation if your spouse wants to see you every waking moment.
Finances
Take a minute to sit down and separate your assets. Figure out what you share, what only belongs to you, and what belongs to your partner.
If you let your spouse take care of all your finances, plan for what you’re going to do once they’re no longer in the picture. If you have joint bank accounts, you’ll have to sit down and discuss what will happen with those after the divorce is finalized.
Staying in Touch
It might be painful, but until the divorce is a done deal, you’ll have to stay in touch with your spouse somewhat. Before you move out, you should talk to them about how you want to do that.
If you think face-to-face communication is too hard, you can stick to phone calls and text messages. Some couples find it best to get a third party involved.
Child Custody
Divorce becomes a little messier and more complicated when there’s a child caught in the middle. You’ll either need to meet with your spouse to discuss custody and visitation or hire a lawyer to make the negotiations for you.
Whatever you do during this difficult time, don’t say horrible things about your spouse in front of your child. Your ex should be willing to show you the same courtesy.
Social Media Posts
Believe it or not, you must not share your separation status on your social media page. You should be a little picky with whom you share the information. The same goes for your ex.
Anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. That includes Facebook posts.
Seeing Other People
You’re separated from your spouse. If you want to get back in the dating game, that’s your business. The conversation will be awkward, but you must discuss seeing other people with your ex since you’re not divorced yet.
Talk about how much you both want to share on social media about your new relationships.
Learn the Different Types of Marriage Separation
Has the spark left your relationship? It might be time for you to consider marriage separation.
As you can see, there are different stages in the process. You may find that after being in a trial separation you love your partner and don’t want to stay away from them. You may decide that you want to end it permanently. Either way, you must talk to your ex and establish a few ground rules.
For tips that will help you get through this difficult time, visit the Lifestyle section of our blog.
